Hansel and Gretel Reviews

Christmas ShowsFamily ShowsOpen Air Productions

Average customer review: 1.5 star rating (1.7 Stars)

Number of reviews: 42

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5.0 star rating Leo from London, England

FAB VERSION OF OLD TALE

Loved Simon Armitage take on this ….. really good fun with lovely actors, especially Hansel and Gretel. Loved the worm , cockroach, mouse and foxes too … and the Owl!!!! And Swan and swanny was hilarious !!! It was an alternative delight!!

5.0 star rating Paula Harris from North East England

FABULOUS

Went to see this today. It was great fun. Poetry and rhyme was so clever. I'd read the reviews which weren't very kind but i honestly do think the 'professional ' reviewers have missed the mark. Yes, the storyline has changed, but so far as the kids are concerned, it makes absolutely no difference to them. They're not listening to it, they're seeing it. Its very visual and there's the bad guys and the good guys. Like all fairy tales thats the gist. I'd compare this to a mystery shopper. I work in retail and you can often pick them out, because they come in looking for something to complain about. You can give them 100% customer service and they'll still not be satisfied because theyre looking for something that isnt there. I thoroughly enjoyed it this Christmas show, everyone laughed at the craziness of it all and the applause from the audience spoke for itself. If you have a brain of your own, go see it for yourself and decide what YOU think.

5.0 star rating L from London, England

CLEVER, HEARTWARMING, FUN

Competent and charming show with surprising depth character and contagious energy. Don't trust the other reviews!

5.0 star rating Joanna Stone from London, England

FUN!

I was really disappointed to read all the negative reviews after buying tickets. Thoroughly enjoyed the show which had humour, music and a serious message. Enough colour and sound to entertain the kids and thought provoking for adults.

4.0 star rating Collie from London, England

FUN FILLED ALTERNATIVE STORY

This is definitely a different take on the Grimm story. Good points lively interactive with audience participation. It’s deliberately grimy and raw and a bit rough around the edges. Could do better points, the narrator was lovely but very poor voice projection so could barely hear the words written by Simon Armitage such a shame as so much lost in the poor sound quality. To some extent that spoilt my viewing . Please use microphone. The voice just tailed off at times and nothing heard . I was in company and we all agreed spoilt the performance by sound quality. Sort that out and you would have a lively if quirky performance where the use of lovely words could be enjoyed. Is this a Globe thing ?

4.0 star rating Carrie from London, England

I REALLY LOVED THIS

Unlike some of the other reviewers, I thought this was fabulous. It was an innovative rewriting of the tale and wondrously realised. I think being in the pit enhanced the production. We were gently guided to clear space for the action. We weren't unable to hear, perhaps that was proximity's favour. I found it moving. Joyous, funny and sad at different times. There were magical moments.

3.0 star rating Becky from London, England

NOT AS BAD AS EVERYONE IS SAYING BUT..

Definitely not what I was expecting. Like others said, it’s a bit odd, they’re trying to do too much and I was left wondering what they were thinking during the weird rapping scene. The poster is false advertisement as the actual gingerbread house was just a plastic kind of shed. However my son (4) loved it. It had the vibe of Blippi live at times so I can see why. Would have loved for it to be more Christmassy and magical.

3.0 star rating DB from Hereford, England

INTERESTING

We (myself, partner, 9 year old) watched this last night. As you would expect from a poet, the script was lyrical, almost as though the cast were slowly signing the script without music. The story was relatively difficult to follow, particularly for the distract-able members of the audience (<6 years old) and anyone with a proliferation of earwax, and we would’ve benefited from some subtitles. The best sequences involved the penny stinkers in the pit, who were shuffled around large set pieces they were wheeled in and out of the crowd. Watching from the lower gallery, you could make out people’s perplexed and amused expressions, which added to the theatrical drama somewhat. Large hovering set pieces and bouncy balls added greatly to the enjoyment for the aforementioned fidgiters. We came away feeling a bit underwhelmed, but impressed with the stage presence of the cast and the beautiful lyrical quality of the script, when we could hear it.

3.0 star rating Toby S from London, England

INTERESTING TAKE ON IT BUT NOT FOR YOUNG KIDS

My wife and I took our 7yr old to watch this today as we thought it was a great opportunity to introduce him to The Globe via a medium that he would understand and enjoy Unfortunately I think Simon Armitage, whom I usually think is amazing, missed the mark here by updating the setting to a war torn village and inserting messaging about refugee water crossings and paternal death. On many occasions my son whispered to me “what’s going on” to which I had to reply “I don’t honestly know”! The narrator also needs to increase her bellows as it was very tough to hear what she was saying 1/2 the time It’s not fair to say it’s awful but I just think that it’s aimed far more to adults and isn’t a 5+ age suggestion

2.0 star rating Diss A Pointed from London, England

NOT ONLY HANSEL & GRETEL WHO WERE LOST.

An experience that left us, the row behind us, and the bench neighbours scratching our heads in collective confusion. A group of strangers all who couldn't believe what was unravelling before our eyes...It was as though the cast had slipped an edible before the show and were enthusiasts in a year 9 drama workshop. The literal positioning and arrangement of the cast was as confused as google maps when you lose signal. Getting legs tangled in fairy lights, pushing stage pieces into the audience without assertion.. the audience didn't have a clue what to do. Whilst the singing sounded more like a heated debate than harmony. The beautiful Sugar House.... The most iconic visual piece for this story in all our imaginations was such a let down that I actually have zero words. Especially after clearly blowing their whole budget on the promo vid. Wasn't expecting a cake on stage of course, but something a touch more magical than shiny material getting stuck in motion on a frame.

2.0 star rating JJ from London, England

NOT GREAT..

We were really excited to watch this but came away baffled and disappointed. Narrator was difficult to hear, despite being in seats in lower gallery. Our view was disrupted by a pillar that hadn’t been mentioned when purchasing. Melodies did not fit the background music. Props were cheap and uninspiring. Felt like a school play. A few characters were very good, singing and dancing, but the majority left us feeling disappointed. Quite expensive too for what felt like a very amateur production.

2.0 star rating Alana from London, England

CHILDREN SEEMED TO LIKE IT

Like other reviews, we agree that we wish it would have been more magical. Rather than the cast wearing old dirty clothing on purpose, we were looking for a beautiful christmas aesthetic. The narrator was great, and we could see the cast put forth effort, but it was confusing to follow

1.0 star rating Elfan Jones from London, England

HANSEL AND GRETLE

I have seen better school productions The singing was weak the story shambolic and the attempt at involving the audience failed. If it is aimed at children under six years old then perhaps it worked.

1.0 star rating Patrick Quick. from Cambs, England

UNBELIEVABLY POOR AND AMATEURISH.

Most of the actors were inaudible. The action was choppy and the story wasn't at all clear. The props and 'scenery' were ramshackle. The singing was generally poor and tunes untuneful. The musicians were OK but mostly drowned out the singing. You know that dreadful infant school nativity? Now imagine it with grown-up actors in a nationally prestigious theatre. PS only reviewing first act; I couldn't bear to sit through another, but my wife tells me it wasn't any better.

1.0 star rating Caron from Bedford, England

DON’T WASTE YOUR TIME AND MONEY

Walked out after 35minutes. Awful production. Sound was poor. The narrator needed a better microphone and actors kept turning their back on the audience. Music was grating and the attempt at rapping was pitiful. Nothing to engage young children until the moon appeared. Cast tried to engage audience but it was embarrassing. Trying to be worthy but should have gone for entertaining. Have loved previous Christmas shows at the Globe but this was a huge disappointment.

1.0 star rating J Anstey from London, England

WORST SHOW WE HAVE EVER SEEN

We go to lots of theatre. From the ad (chocolate pudding) and the venue (Globe theatre), this looked like it might be magical. Sadly, it wasn't. There was nothing fantastical about it. We didn't like the set, costumes (hobos in beanies) or acting. Probably our worst experience at the theatre in a long time. It didn't feel like a fairy tale or like Christmas. It felt like a high-school play worthy of a town hall, not The Globe Theatre. We were very disappointed. And surprised The Globe would associate themselves with a production of this calibre.

1.0 star rating Hannah B from London, England

A MASSIVE LET DOWN

Echo other reviews on this, really disappointed. This was first visit to the Globe and we’d hoped for a magical performance given the stunning marketing visuals and credentials of the writer. Had huge potential, total let down. We struggled to follow the story as the narrator was so hard to hear, why no mikes? Terrible voice projection? We actually struggled to follow the story at, I’ve no idea what happened after the witch was boiled. What on earth was the blow up swan all about? And I couldn’t tell you how it ended except that they got home, as it was inaudible (except the excellent witch) and actors had their backs to people. Audience had no idea how to engage with it. To be honest it was the worst “modern adaptation” I’ve ever seen. Props looked like they’d been pulled out of a local school drama cupboard, the house made of sweets awful. I came away questioning the whole purpose of the Globe, if that’s their normal quality of performance I don’t think we would go back sadly.

1.0 star rating Kb from London, England

NOT MAGICAL

Agree with the other reviews. Could hardly hear the narrator, singing was out of time and felt underrehearsed, a couple of slip ups that normally might be forgivable but because the rest of the production was weird and boring it just seemed another nail in the coffin. Don't go!

1.0 star rating Paulette from London, England

NOT LIKE PROMOTIONAL POSTER

Left at interval. Hugely disappointed. Love going to the theatre. This was supposed to be a pre Christmas treat. Strained to hear some of the words. Like a very poor amateur production all round

1.0 star rating Joe McInytre from London, England

LIFE WAS WASTED IN THE 15 MINS I SAT THROUGH THIS

The most horrific performance since my own play I held as 5 year old. Music is akin to a rabid man at the last of his whim. The acting is so horrific all I could do is laugh. Please save your life and never go to this play. You will thank my advise.

1.0 star rating Steven Reynolds from London, England

CHEAP, CYNICAL THEATRE

Probably the worst thing I’ve seen in a professional theatre - I left at the interval because I couldn’t face sitting through another act. Given this is a well known folk tale I was amazed that I found myself wondering what was going on at points, thanks to a combination of poor stagecraft and worse projection. It lacks the usual magic you’d expect from the globe - the staging is unimaginative and cheap. Music is dreadful. Bizarre attempts to appeal to both the very young and adult audience members leave both unengaged. Clearly it’s all about trying to get non-globe regulars in for Christmas and giving them as little of a show as possible.

1.0 star rating Kate Hughes from London, England

I CANT CONVEY MY DISAPPOINTMENT

The moment I saw the set my heart sank then it continued to sink once they began to sing…out of tune and utterly depressing. Its Xmas for Gods sake so why fill the stage giant cockroaches and grungy costumes. I felt like throwing myself into Thames it was that depressing.

1.0 star rating D King from London, England

JUST AWFUL

Such a disappointment.It was very difficult to hear the narration and most of the spoken word, so it was very difficult to follow . The music was odd. There was very little humour, indeed with the obvious parallels drawn with migrants ,it was harrowing in places . I really would not recommend it, or at least not at Christmas. We certainly didn’t leave with a warm glow , indeed the parting shot was the Father was missing possibly dead .

1.0 star rating Fíona from London, England

UTTER DISAPPOINTMENT. DO NOT GO.

I cannot believe that the Globe Theatre staged this shockingly poor production. Poor sound, poor props, poor imagination, just terrible. We were so disappointed and it was such a wasted opportunity. To equate it to a school production only insults any school production I have seen. Dire.

1.0 star rating Sad TheatreLover from London, England

WORST PLAY I’VE EVER SEEN

This play doesn’t know who it’s for. Is it for children or adults, it fails at both. It suffers from a score that is too modern and weird, so it is an interesting score, but unengaging. Which is a theme really.The actors and musicians are mostly great, though there were some projection issues meaning we lost the narration. The script/direction/score are the collective issue. The trailer and imagery with the cake and the icing sugar snow paints such a magical feeling and it just doesn’t have that. The gingerbread house looks like a primary school production make. At one point it goes up into the sky on a hydraulic arm, which again should be magical, but I know it’s an hydraulic arm because you can see it. I thought it couldn’t get any worse after the first half, but the second half is actually worse. Lots of people left mid way. Children were fidgeting and families were chatting, which is a big tell.

1.0 star rating B Robble from London, England

NOT THE BUNDLE OF FUN I WAS HOPING FOR....

If you want a bit of Christmas magic and getting away from the horrors of the World right now, don't go. Imagine if Rik from the Young Ones wrote a version of Hansel and Gretel - there's bombs on civilians, war, social injustice..... you get the picture. I did enjoy the Narrator (the cleaner from "Man Down") and the actors enthusiasm though. We were really willing them to do well, they did their best, bless 'em.

1.0 star rating Nicola Ladbrooke from London, England

TERRIBLE DON’T WASTE YOUR MONEY

First visit to The Globe. It’s a magical venue but that’s where the magic ended. Set was awful. Modern classic? Awful! Singing - awful. Throwing a few latex balls and confetti around did not lift the mood. And the ‘Father figure’ believed dead appearing as an angel???? As an adult I found it depressing and hard to follow. Fairy tale theatre should have an element escapism. I came away just feeling sad. If I want to see reality I can walk the streets and arches of London! It has put me off of attending any further productions at The Globe.

1.0 star rating Mark Williams from London, England

WORST SHOW I’VE EVER SEEN IN LONDON.

Oh my goodness, where do I start. This tedious and pretentious show is definitely one to miss. The script is over long and dull, the cast are weak (both in character and in projecting their voices) and the music is just a total total mess. The whole show comes across as some sort of devised piece that a group of drama students have thrown together in a couple of days. I felt embarrassed for the actors and for everyone involved. It’s a lovely idea for the globe to stage a Christmas show but in order to have more success I beg the globe creative team to look in the direction of the rose theatre in Kingston, whose annual Christmas show is always fun for adults and kids. This was just plain awful.

1.0 star rating Manal from London, England

WORST EXPERIENCE EVER

I took my 5 year old daughter to see the play and it was her first experience at the theater. My daughter was very excited because she already knew the story of the tale but in fact the representation was disappointing or even horrible. E was nothing magical or attractive in it, the voices were inaudible, the decor very poor, an absence of music or play of lights. There was nothing worth what we paid to see the play. We wanted to leave from the first minutes but we stayed until the end in the hope of seeing something but in fact it was a horrible experience not to be repeated.

1.0 star rating Theatre lover from London, England

TERRIBLE! WASTE OF TIME AND MONEY.

We were very disappointed. The story was very hard to follow, the actors had their backs to us the entire time and very telling when, at the end they only took one bow to those sitting directly in front of the stage. The set seemed cheap and put together with bits and bobs they could find at home. Could barely hear what was being said and the kids were desperate to leave after the first 15 minutes.

1.0 star rating Jane from London, England

ENORMOUS DISAPPOINTMENT

Last year we went to the Globe Christmas production: 2 sets of grandparents with 7 and 9 year old boys. We all loved it.And booked again for this year. I cannot describe our disappointment. The 'mother' was an entertaining actor with a dramatic costume. Good. The rest was appalling on every level. Dull costumes, dull set, dull characters, dull story line. Heavy mash up of depressing World events. Please do not waste any money or time on this production. I have done a summer visit every year for many years. I shall not waste any more money on The Globe. I feel insulted.

1.0 star rating Kate from London, England

DREADFUL

Special treat, not cheap and absolutely disappointing. Mainly, we couldn’t hear the words which then meant it was difficult to follow the alternative take on the story. Kids lost interest within 15 minutes, adults too so we left at interval.. Told the staff who smiled and said that it was a shame.

1.0 star rating HVM from Sussex, England

TERRIBLE, WE LEFT AT THE INTERVAL

Felt like an amateur production not a show backed by the Globe. Awful set and props, the promotional video seemingly advertised a completely different show. The actors were working hard but it was unengaging to the point of being uninteresting. We left at the Interval to salvage our afternoon. An expensive and disappointing mistake.

1.0 star rating Penny from London, England

GREAT ACTING, POOR STORY

I felt sorry for the actors, they were all excellent, but the story was awful. I can't believe there was no quality control with this production. Impossible to hear the narrator. I would be unlikely to visit the globe theatre again after watching this. Definitely would not recommend seeing.

1.0 star rating Jon from London, England

LOST WITH NO DIRECTIONS

Rather poor, found the whole experience disappointing. Missed about 60% of dialogue, so trying a 'new take' on a traditional story was completely lost on me. The globe calls out for theatrical performances, this was rather school play territory. So wanted it to be so much more.

1.0 star rating Allan Cooper from London, England

VERY DISAPPOINTING PRODUCTION.

This was an awful boring show, that had little or no appeal to the kids sitting near me. We could not hear or understand most of what the narrator said, were pleased that it was a relatively short play. The costumes, props, songs, and singing were extremely poor.

1.0 star rating Glen Ingram from London, England

BLOODY AWFUL

I saw this with my wife and children jusr before Christmas. I'm actually angry the play was allowed to stage at all given the absolute state it's in. Horribly pretentious and wildly inappropriate dialogue Simon Armitage dialogue from the outset (who did he think he was targeting the play at, exactly?), boring and dreary songs, terrible sets and props, zero attention to character development or tension building... the entire play was a mess and a total disgrace and the Globe need to ask serious questions about how this mess was ever given the ok to stage. My children hated it too. It actually ranks as the worst stage play I've ever seen.

1.0 star rating The Loriston from London, England

AN AWFUL INTERPRETATION OF THE TALE

We went to see the performance on the last day of the year 2023, a few adults and children between 7-16 years old. To say we were gobsmacked at the first break is an understatement. None of us could understand it, and we were wondering how something of this poor quality was even allowed to run in this theatre for so long. Half the time we couldn't even hear what was said. The cast looked like a bunch of the London homeless, which would have been okay if it was mentioned in the title.

1.0 star rating Sarah W from London, England

POSSIBLY THE WORST SHOW I’VE EVER SEEN

I don’t understand how during tech/dress rehearsals anyone could say “right we’re ready to open!” It was like a badly rehearsed school play. There were two big selling points - the magical video of the cake house and Simon Armitage’s words. The house looked like something salvaged from a skip and you couldn’t hear the words. Nothing magical or Christmassy about it. Budget production and props and really expensive seats if not standing. Does dark (which can be atmospheric thought provoking and metaphysical) have to be dreary or cliched?

1.0 star rating Jingo from London, England

TERRIBLE

The show is atrocious, and I thought that the reviews I was reading were exaggerating. Reader, they were not. The writing is appalling, and when you can hear it, it is dull, and uses the convention of narrator which can only work with amazing writing. The words are dull and pretentious. The songs are appalling and I feel sorry for the performers having to deliver lines and melodies that are so bad. The board of the Globe should be sacked.

1.0 star rating Annie Barlow from London, England

HANSEL AND GRETEL

Utterly disappointing from my point of view. Luckily grandchildren (nearly 4 and nearly 7) (sort of) enjoyed it, otherwise would have been a complete waste of rather a lot of money. Poor script, terrible costumes, bad acting, dull scenery. Only good experience was being present in The Globe for the first time. Not likely to be repeated.

1.0 star rating Ley from London, England

SAD FOR THE ACTORS, THE GLOBE & HANSEL AND GRETEL

Seeing this show was my way of introducing my children to the fantastic world of theatre, at an iconic venue, telling a classic story that they would be able to understand. It was so awful from start to finish that I literally had no words to utter to my kids (aged 7 & 11) when they looked at me in utter confusion. Couldn't hear a thing - couldn't comprehend a thing. No sure at all what was going on. Perhaps the director got fired, or the producer walked out - I have no idea what led to this miss. The narrator who is a talented actress was doing her level best but it was more of a farce then a play. I get the feeling some critical members of the overall team are missing. Actors can only work with what they've got - and they have got nothing. Not even half decent costumes, not even a half decent set. Not even microphones or lights. Not even a band that can play music. Suggest giving this one a miss

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